I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Randomize
