when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize