wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
