did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
