with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
