I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
