You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
