just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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