So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
