and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
