so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
