i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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