theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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