I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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