someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You're a waste of cheezeits
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
