Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
