if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
