I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
This baby is an asshole
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
