wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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