Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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