like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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