a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
