I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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