you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
