in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
why do cheetos always look like penises
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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