i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You left your underwear on the fireplace
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
