You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
