One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
