38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just google imaged poop.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
