In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
