allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
