This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
