dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
