Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
