420 ftw
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
