Rock
Scissors
Fuck
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
