From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
