Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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