Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize