we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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