If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
