He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
