are you so shy because you have an std?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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