dude i'm inner monologue high
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
