Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
