She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You can't special order awesome
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
