he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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