saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
