you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
