So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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