the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
