the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
