I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
