rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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