So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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