if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I want to stick my p in your. b.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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