Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
