One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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