This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
