hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
