I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
This beer is not sobering me up at all
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
