I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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